Jon and JJ and I went to the Parade of Lights, my first as a spectator (I do not miss wrangling floats for hours in the cold dark behind the scenes). It was cold and we left before it was over because really, if you’ve seen one backhoe covered in lights, you’ve seen ‘em all.
Don’t worry, we made some cherished holiday memories before we headed home:
It’s nice to be at my new job, getting to leave the big downtown events whenever I want. I’m feeling more settled in this new copywriter role, but I’m still thinking a lot about work and its purpose. Vocation can be the stuff that makes me feel alive in obvious ways. Big ways. Mission Statement ways. I am still searching for this, asking how to spend more of my time touching meaning.
But there’s another kind of vocational call in the stuff I bump up against, places I find myself. I wasn’t grasping for it. Now that I’m here, it makes sense.
My brothers living here feels like that second kind. I feel protective of it—as if focusing my attention and words on it will snap it, a fragile good. But their presence has been a thing with lots of ease.
When am deep in asking all the big ‘why am I here?’ questions, I think of this hosting—there’s one reason! Their presence has been as much a boost to me as to them.
Four years ago, touring this beat-up house, I wanted lots of rooms, had ideas to fill them myself—art studio, guest room. But I also hoped it would be a landing place for my siblings. I am living in an answer to a prayer my heart held quietly.
This place was always meant to have people in it.
I think this every time I host, watching guests disperse to their cars. I see it in the aftermath of dishes and apple cake crumbs and the buzz of conversation replaying as I stack plates.
I was always meant for people, too.
There’s a calm in me I’m learning to pay attention to. It shows up when I’m engaged in meaningful work. It shows up when I’m surrounded by like-minded friends.
Who knows what else is ahead, but I know what I want it to feel like.
Mending
Elsewhere
I am in a gushy mood, so this section is PACKED.
(Just like this bench in my house). I’m a vendor at Art Collective on December 6 & 7! I have some new fiber work I’m proud of, from big ol’ quilt to banners to framed smalls. And some prints of gouache paintings! And some newspapers from last year! And fish stickers! I don’t know what will resonate and what I’ll be left with in overstock. I can’t wait to find out.
“I’d like to tell you that I was brave. But that’s not what happened at all.”
A really beautiful short read about moths and headlamps.
I am reading some good stuff this month! First, A Natural History of Empty Lots by Christopher Brown. Brown shares his observations of how urban space and wild nature bump into each other, woven within the story of building his home on a brownsite in Austin, TX. Brown writes fiction, too, and you can tell. The sentences here are gorgeous. Read it!
Second, The Lure of the Local: Senses of Place in a Multicentered Society by Lucy Lippard. Lippard is a writer and art critic, so she approaches the study of place with an artist’s eye. It’s all my favorite things layered in one book!
With this kind of reading (dense, thoughtful), sometimes I feel like I need to save it for when my brain is freshest to really do it justice, but I’ve been wondering if the secret to getting anything done is doing it with whatever energy I have in the moment.
Maybe it’s like a muscle to grow. Also, why shouldn’t my brain in Netflix-hankering mode get nourished with the middling reading of a good book? The good can’t completely go through a sieve! It must catch on something.
I want to be a person who is deep in the good stuff. This is one way.
"Friend — do you hear yourself? Are you a sauce lord talking about a slapper, or are you a tax adjuster talking about an amortized asset, baby?" -Blackbird Spyplane, against cost per wear.
Every sentence in Blackbird Spyplane is a trip, and I love the ride. Thrilling sentences and deep thoughts on wearing clothes? My venn diagram is a circle.
I’m still using + really liking the Arc browser I linked a while back.
I don’t use the AI search. Here’s how I use it: cutting off access to social media dark patterns through the Zap tool within Boosts. (Bye, Instagram explore tab! Bye reels! Bye Youtube comments! It’s especially good when your job (like mine) requires that you access social media during the workday. These things are designed to addict you! They want to feed you crummy videos made by people stressed about staying relevant. Get off the sad parts of the internet, hang out in digital gardens!
On that note, here are some gardens:
Robin Sloan’s newsletter archive, good for 8,000 rabbit holes
Anarchist Guide to Building a Workbench. Thoughtful, funny, informative. More about building a workbench than you ever need.
A 15 minute documentary about an Aussie couple who are the sole caretakers of a remote town.
Thanks for reading! I hope your pants fit and you don’t need a NPBL.
❤️, Ten
Okay, I love gushy mood Tenley! And I love reading about the haven you've created in your home. You are a gatherer and it's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
I tried out Arc when you first mentioned it, but struggled to get used to it and quickly reverted to my default browsers. But the Zap tool! WOW! You have my interest. Looking into that! Thank you for sharing all this loveliness as always.
I loved reading this! I'm glad your brothers can share the house, like-minded friends can also come by, and the copywriter job allows you to leave the cold parade earlier, heh. In some general way, these are the types of things we're all working on. : ) Take care.